Despedidas

Essentially, I’m due to put up pictures from my trip to Porto, and now I need to update this blog on last weekend’s trip to Lyon, France, but I feel that I should take a post to make an update on my life here in Madrid.

First, I’ve had to make three goodbyes in the past weekend. First it was Erin Berg in France and last night was Kara who had been staying with us for the past three weeks. It’s always hard to say goodbye especially since you don’t know when you are going to see your friends again. I know I’ll see Erin this summer in Denver, but I don’t know when will be the next time I’ll see Kara since she just left for South America for a long adventure.

But the hardest goodbye was seeing Chloe leave. She has been my best friend here and has helped me more than anyone. I love all of my friends here equally, of course, but Chloe and I created a friendship quicker and easier than the rest. I can’t imagine what I’m going to do here without her because she was the one person I was always able to talk to about whatever and viceversa. I didn’t even get to officially say goodbye because the night before I went to France, we went out and then she ended up going home and I thought I’d see her in the morning but with me being rushed to get out the door and get to the airport, and she still  sleeping, we never got to say “adios.” I regret that very much.

I keep thinking about her not being here and I know it’s not just hard for me, but it’s hard for everyone. She definitely impacted all of our lives and it has been such an incredible experience getting to live with her for a whole year, getting to see her everyday and sharing everything with her. So now, it’s like there is a void missing from our life here. I keep thinking she’s here but she’s not. I want to run down the hall and tell her the latest news, but then I find her room empty and barren. The entire atmosphere of the apartment seems to have changed. I know we all need to get over this but when you lose one of the members of your family, it’s pretty difficult to keep up that same rhythm when a key ingredient is missing. I know I’ll be seeing her soon because it’s real quick, cheap, and easy to get to Brussels from Madrid and I may be seeing her this summer in the states, but it just really sucks not having her here anymore.

With that aside, things are definitely going to be different because more and more people are leaving. I’d say the vast majority of my friends aren’t Spanish and they are from other countries. And they all have to go home sometime soon and that’s the hardest, because now I expect my life here to continue the same with the same people but the entire dynamic of my life in the next few months will be completely new. I will be back at ground zero, square one, with no friends (except Marta and Julian and some of the other more permanent residents here), but I’m going to have to meet new people and start new relationships. I really hate change but this is just the way life is here. They come and they go. I will remember everyone and miss them all sincerely and hopefully our paths will all cross again soon.

Now, we are searching for a new roommate to replace the unreplaceable Chloe and we’ll have to do it again twice next month to find a new roommate for Carlo and for Julia.

However, I do have a lot to look forward to. I have one more month here and I’ll most likely do a little bit of traveling through Spain (I’m planning another trip to Galicia) and then I’m off to Denver for the summer to see my friends and family there. I’ll be back in September to start a new job they offered me: I will be an assistant still, but I will be teaching History and Geography in English at a public high school. I am incredibly excited for this job, and although it has more hours and more responsibility, I get paid a lot more and I won’t have to do all that much more than I do now. I am also applying to graduate school to study International Cooperation and Project Management here in Madrid. I’d start in October, assuming I get accepted.

Anyway, things are slowly coming to a close, it’s really sad, but I know good things will come of all of this (at least that’s what I tell myself to keep positive).

Write more later,

Graham

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